#also going to have to throw a monster john fic in there

[primewritessmut]

i know i haven't finished posting all of he speaks daggers but man am i champing at the bit for my wips to move up the assembly line (yes, i view myself as a story factory, mind your fucking business)

some of my favorites in the works:

-- modern lokius au where mobius is a bartender in the bar where loki takes all his (disastrous) first days; it's some real rom-com shit and i am ready to get back to my roots

-- the cat loki au, i have no idea where it's going but i am going to solve it like a rubik’s cube

-- a groundhog's day/time fuckery au for the symbrock boys; i have not given eddie angst in over six months, it's time

[ananxiousgenz]

HEY YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS????? JARTHUR COWBOY AU TIME!!!!!

this one also comes with a bit of info for the beginning:

@percymawce-arts and I have finally given this monster child of ours a name!! from here on out, this fic shall be known as "When the Land was Godless and Free" (a lyric from the song foreigner's god by hozier)!

the chapters we are posting are like. severely out of order. we've just been going crazy behind the scenes (we keep getting good ideas and then discussing/writing them for literal hours, it's a great time). percy basically wrote all of this and i just did some minor edits and left all caps comments screaming about how fucking GOOD this is, so any and all compliments should be directed at him <3

and some trigger warnings: this chapter contains alcohol and some suggestive themes!!

@izel-reblogs and @ellamenop (if you guys want me to stop tagging you please lmk)

“Here’s to John and Arthur! Arthur and John!” Noel shouted, stepping up onto the bar and raising his beer, some of it sloshing over the side of the cup with the motion. “Freaky-ass, sharpshooting, vigilante crime-fighting extraordinaires! Without you two, those gangsters would still be shooting up this charming little town.” He flashed a wink and a gaggle of girls seated behind John giggled. John rolled his eyes. “To John and Arthur!”

“To John and Arthur!” the bar echoed, jovial sounds of conversation and rowdy drinking soon filling the space again. John smiled into his drink, only to choke and nearly fall out of his chair when Noel clapped him on the shoulder. 

“Get ready for a lot of free drinks,” he said, hopping down to the floor. “This town’s full of generous rich folks just waiting for a chance to throw some money around.” 

John groaned. “Does that mean I have to talk to people?”

“I’m afraid so, darlin’,” Noel said, all easy charm and swagger as he leaned up against the bar next to John. “Uh oh. Don’t look now, but there’s one coming up behind you.”

“Jesus fucking Christ,” John swore under his breath as a young blonde woman in a pink (and startlingly revealing) dress came up to the bar beside him. “That was fast,” he whispered to Noel, who barely managed to hide a snigger.

“Hi!” the woman squealed, her pitch akin to metal nails on glass. John winced. Voice aside, her general disposition was the near equivalent to staring straight into the afternoon sun, and the neon pink of her dress didn’t help matters.

“Can I buy you a drink, cowboy?” she crooned, gently brushing a hand over his shoulder as she smiled far too brightly (the whole blind sharpshooter gig tended to work better when only one of them was blind). 

John shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “Oh, I don’t-”

“It’s on the house for you, sweetheart. I’ll pay for everything, don’t you worry your pretty little head about it. So, how about that drink?” She moved in closer beside him, her hand drifting up his neck and along his jawline. John was only beginning to think of how to politely decline when he felt a looming presence over his shoulder.

“Only if you buy for all of us,” Arthur said, not unkindly. But John had been traveling with him for long enough to recognize the hint of something else beneath the politeness. Not what it was, just that it was there. The woman giggled.

“Well, of course! Anything for our dashing heroes!” John glanced over his shoulder at Arthur. His face was set in stone, watching the woman like a hawk on a rabbit as she slipped a few coins into the bartender’s hand and waited for drinks in return. He looked… tense. Like he was a piece of rope, stretched to the verge of snapping, and if that annoying woman made one wrong move, he would.

Noel raised an eyebrow at Arthur. “You must be a real hit with the ladies,” he murmured into his glass, looking Arthur up and down as he did so. Arthur paid him no mind.

The sunshine woman was not the last to buy them a round of drinks, not by a long shot. Plenty of flirtatious ladies (and a few flirtatious men), thankful patrons and impressed watchmen approached them, hoping to show their gratitude by buying them a shot or a glass of whiskey. Arthur didn’t leave John’s side the whole night, quick to shut down any attempts at seduction by feigning ignorance to the intentions of anyone who approached them. But John knew better. John could see the hard set of his jaw, how he gripped his glass too tightly whenever a scantily clad lady twirled her hair around her finger, or a rambunctious young cowboy leaned too far into John’s personal space. It made John’s heart flutter wildly in his chest. 

The drinks only slowed as the saloon emptied out, leaving Noel, Arthur and John three sheets to the wind, laughing uproariously at something stupid as the morning sun came over the horizon (Oscar had retired hours before, drunker than anyone at the bar much, much faster. Arthur had squeezed his shoulder and bid him goodnight with an expression of concern that made John’s heart clench).

Noel wiped tears from his eyes and looked over John’s shoulder, out the window behind him. When he saw the beginnings of daylight creeping over the horizon, he sighed. (He watched them, Arthur and John, engaged in a quiet but passionate discussion about something he couldn’t parse. They were both flushed and leaning in too close, chuckling at every other word that passed between them, oblivious to the rising sun or the empty saloon or Noel’s hands on their arms, steering them towards their room at the inn upstairs).

John chuckled (he did not giggle, he chuckled) as Noel tossed him into their rented room, with Arthur following soon after. He tripped over a trunk near the foot of the bed on his way in, falling forward onto the mattress with a gentle oof. Arthur laughed at him much too loudly for whatever time it was. 

“Alright, you two,” Noel said, trying to hold back a laugh, “wash up and go to bed. God, I should’ve never given that toast, you’re both insufferable drunks.”

“Oh, shhhhhhh,” Arthur hushed, pulling John out of bed by his wrist. John leaned fully against Arthur in an effort to stay upright. It mostly worked. “You loooooove us,” he laughed. Noel smiled.

“Yeah, yeah,” he said, rolling his eyes but unable to keep the fond expression off his face. “You keep telling yourselves that.” He wiped his nose and tipped his hat to them. “Goodnight, you two.” Then he closed the door, and it was just them. John and Arthur, Arthur and John. 

“Okay, come on,” John said after a long stretch of silence, inelegantly turning Arthur in the direction of their shared washbasin and mirror. Arthur giggled a bit as John tried to move him forward, mumbling some drinking song under his breath that John didn’t recognize (maybe it’s a British one, John thought lamely). They tripped over each other's feet a few times, but ultimately made it to the edge of the sink without completely falling over. 

When they did, John braced his hands on either side of it with a tired sigh, watching his reflection in the mirror. There was a thin sheen of sweat across his forehead and a flush to his cheeks from the alcohol, but otherwise he seemed in decent condition. A few cuts and scrapes, some new and some old, and his braid was a little out of sorts, but nothing really concerning–

Then all the haziness of the alcohol and the late night was gone because Arthur’s full weight was at his back, his warmth permeating the fabric of John’s shirt and vest. His hot breath fanned across John’s ear and jaw, his eyes fluttering closed with the weight of inebriation. John inhaled shakily, suddenly brought back to shifting bodies and whiskey and fireworks with such vivid clarity it could have been real.

But it wasn’t real. It wasn’t real. John was drunk. Arthur was drunk, he could barely stand up straight, for fucks sake. He was just using John for support, falling asleep on his shoulder, and… 

And pressing his nose behind John’s ear, ghosting his lips over the back of his jaw. Breathing his name with a pained expression. John’s own expression matched, half lidded eyes never leaving the mirror, tense and pained and wanting, oh-so deeply, for the one thing he knew he couldn’t have.

Despite himself, John’s eyes slipped closed. His shoulders relaxed, tension leaving his body as Arthur hands came up to rest on his hips. His head tilted, granting Arthur access to more of his jaw and neck. And Arthur took it. He didn’t kiss, but he skimmed. Barely there, almost not real, deniable. Like a spirit. Like a gut feeling. Like instinct.

“John…” Arthur breathed. John felt a shiver work its way down his spine at the sound of Arthur’s voice at the base of his skull, reverberating in his head like it was meant to be there. It took every ounce of will that John had to keep the small moan building in the base of his throat from escaping.

“Arthur,” he answered, voice hoarse and quiet. He wanted to open his eyes. Wanted to see himself in the mirror with Arthur over his shoulder, arms around him, nosing at his neck and shoulder, resisting the urge to press warm kisses into his skin. Or maybe to bite. To draw blood. John had never been shown a difference between violence and love. Maybe they weren’t so different. He hoped so. He wanted… 

He wanted to see the look on Arthur’s face. Would it be like it was that day in the cabin? Shocked and a little confused but mostly needy. Yearning for something. Yearning for John. Or would it be darker? Dark like the clouds before a storm, the kind of storm that drowned you with rain and filled the air with electricity. Would it be dark like he was holding back? Like John was? 

But John didn’t open his eyes, no matter how badly he wanted to know. If his eyes stayed closed, he could pretend Arthur’s gentle, delicate touch wasn’t there at all. Just a taste of something more, enough to leave John wanting. Enough for him to imagine. Enough for it to stay a pleasant, alcohol induced dream. If he opened his eyes it would be real, and it would have to stop. And John did not want it to stop.

“John,” Arthur murmured, his voice just above a whisper now. “Open your eyes.” The timbre of it was deep, so much deeper than John had heard it before. How could he have possibly known? How could he know John so well in so little time? So completely? The moan John was holding on to finally slipped past his lips when Arthurs grip on his waist tightened, ever so slightly. “John,” Arthur choked. 

“I can’t,” John whispered as Arthur’s fingers moved from his hips, leaving a burning heat behind in the shape of Arthur’s palm. They trailed up and up, tugging at the buttons of John’s shirt as they went, making his breath hitch. Up to his open collar, nails dragging across John’s collar bone and hollow of his throat. Until they wrapped ever so gently around his neck, the thumb coming up to guide John’s jaw this way and that. John was breathing hard, now.

“Why?” Arthur asked, pressing himself closer, still, to John. John whined.

“I…” I want to. God, I want to. Make me. “Please, Arthur, don’t make me. Please, just–”

John gasped when he felt Arthur’s teeth scrape lightly over the skin of his neck, his hand flying up to grip Arthur’s hair, his shoulder, something. To hold Arthur. But he was stopped by a strong grip on his wrist, which guided his hand back down to the edge of the sink, holding it there. Pinning it. 

“John,” Arthur whispered. John’s chest was rising and falling like Akke’s after a long sprint, his heart fluttering like a hummingbird’s. Arthur’s thumb caressed his knuckles, white with the strength of his grip on the sink.

“Please,” they said at the same time. John’s brow furrowed, his lips hung parted in anticipation. His mind swung wildly from the present, between Arthur and the mirror with a hand around his throat, to the cabin, pressing Arthur to the wooden floor, pinning his wrists above his head. The burning momentum between them suddenly halted by John’s fear, like a landslide on the track before a train. Now the train was out of control again, brakes screeching against wheels that just wouldn’t stop, sparks flying. Sparks like fireworks. Sparks like live wires. Sparks like exploding gunpowder.

But then the warmth at his back was gone. Along with it the hand at his throat and the one  pinning his own to the sink. The teeth at the junction of his neck and shoulder and the hot breath on his skin vanished, leaving only a stark coldness where they’d been before. John sighed, whether in relief or disappointment he didn’t know, and opened his eyes.

The flush on his face had migrated down his neck and chest, which was exposed now (when had Arthur done that?) and heaving. The ‘light sheen’ of sweat was beading at his temples and brow now, falling in drops down to his jaw, along the bridge of his nose. His lips were parted and his eyes were wide and his neck was bare. 

And Arthur, leaning drunkenly against the wall behind him, arms crossed, expression chilly. He was breathing heavily too, and his face was red like the first hints of daylight in the sky. But it was the hard set of his mouth and brow that made John shiver.

“We should go to bed, John,” he said, voice still raspy. A needy, sad little sound rose from John’s throat then, and John’s hand flew to his mouth, as if to force the offending sound back in. Arthur swallowed and turned, ready to head back to one of the twin beds awaiting them. Side by side and yet still miles apart. “And don’t worry.”

“It’ll all feel like a dream, tomorrow.”

[deliciouskeys]

Why don't you like Billy using the name John? Just curious

It's okay if you like it! Just a matter of personal taste. If I had to name reasons (this will be a longer answer than you probably wanted, anon):

Forget Billy for a second and think about why Homelander calls himself that in the era of the show. I take it as Homelander rejecting his traumatic past and throwing out his original given name along with it. In a weird way, it's actually a fuck you move to Vought, especially now that they're trying to retcon-humanize him by concocting a story about the childhood they never gave him. He seemed to bristle slightly when Jonah Vogelbaum dropped it on him in S1, and that's from a person who's presumably always used it. I like the strange idea that him embracing Vought branding whole cloth, and never changing outfits is kind of like... embracing/reclaiming a slur in a weird way. Put a pin on that.

So now with Billy! I think Billy using 'John' would be a very specific, deliberate attempt to humanize him, and I'm not sure Billy would be interested in that, not the way things go in most fics. Even when they're happily butchlandering away, and he no longer sees HL as Evil Incarnate, "Homelander" still represents this compound V'ed up Vought Presents Frankenstein's Monster sort of unsettling creature for him. Billy is racist against supes... And I'm not sure that entirely melts away even when he hooks up with them. He'd view calling HL's corporate-devised persona name as a slur of sorts Maybe I have sick preferences, but I kind of enjoy the maintenance of that Othering by Billy, especially since I also can't see HL himself requesting to be called John, let alone insisting on it.

And yes, I know Maeve calls him John at least once (in S3 that I remember), which suggests he was still using it... some years ago in recent memory? Although I'm never sure how long ago they started dating. If Maeve was in her early 20s, that's ~15 years ago.

And yes, blanket caveat, #notallfics, in some fics it totally works. I just don't think it's necessary in as many fics as where I encounter it on AO3, but that's just like, my opinion man.

While I'm at it re AO3. "The Homelander" is a job/status title. So AO3's tags make me lol every time I see "Bottom the Homelander | John", rendering 'bottom' into a demented transitive verb. Which is highly amusing to imagine each time. But I think "The Homelander" = job title. "Homelander" = literally the name he uses. It's a first and last name kind of thing, like Madonna.

Aaaaanyway, no offense meant to anybody who is fond of 'John'. All of the above are definitely subjective, personal HC reasons. Peace on earth!

[diminuel]

So I saw aus of “Sam and Dean are Michael’s sons au” and “Sam is actually Michael but Michael was a female au” and I decided to loosely combine the two. Set in S1-S2 what if Sam and Dean were actually female archangels created by Michael with the help of Chuck charged with protecting the Earth on Heaven’s word but after the whole apocalypse they took their grace out and died and Azazel thinking he would get back at Heaven turned them into human males to hide them so he and his demon buddies could roam the Earth and maybe he could throw over Lucifer and have the power of Hell for himself. But after a while Sam and Dean start to experience strange dreams and not to mention feeling like their slowly dying til they meet the angels and the demons and Lucifer eventually gets Azazel to reveal that Sam and Dean were the angels that were supposed to protect the Earth and that them in human forms will slowly kill them and Michael eventually returns them to their true forms as archangels. How would Sam and Dean try to get used to not being human in the first place? How would they now react to a female form or just being female in general? How would they have to explain they were actually female archangels all along to Bobby, Ellen, Jo, Pastor Jim and even John. (On a side not Dean would sure make a ton of Sailor Moon/Princess serenity references as I imagine she/he secretly loves that anime)

I don't understand what the connection between this scenario and the Sailor Moon is that would make Dean comment on it. (We also have to remember that Dean was born in 1979. Sailor Moon didn't air in the US until 1995, then it got cancelled after two seasons and brought back only in 1997. Now, also remember that this is the 90s, if you miss an episode you have missed it until a rerun was aired. So would he, a 18 year old tune in to watch Sailor Moon on motel TVs for a disjointed story about magical girls? Anyway, that was my little curiosity excursion into wikipedia *lol*)

And I don't know, I'm struggling a bit with the scenario because female angels Sam and Dean (especially Dean) is not exactly in my niche (I'm the girl Cas "specialist"). I feel generally a scenario that leads to Dean and Sam being angels, instead of human, does "unsettle" me to some extent unless it is temporary and they can ultimately chose to be themselves again. I think Dean and Sam would choose humanity or should choose humanity (in order to please me, personally and make the creatives wheels in my brain turn properly. I know this is your fic scenario but if you ask me to answer questions about it I will have to go on canon interpretation and personal preference *lol*)

I don't think they'd enjoy being turned or being forced to turn. It's the same old situation as in the other scenarios. It happens against their will, here it is even linked to the threat of death. And it is not only a turn from human to supernatural but also from male to female body. They're not gonna like that. It's not like they have angelic minds, like Cas for example, who can switch vessels and not think too much about it and not have it affect how he sees himself. (Well, that's also up to interpretation of course.)

And I don't know if they would have to explain much, it's not like this is their personal choice. This is something that was "done" to them, so just saying "this demon messed with us" might be enough and it would probably mobilize their families to "fix it". (Again, with the assumption that we are operating with the underlying assumption of Supernatural that humanity is the goal, that being human is superior to being supernatural. I think whether that is a truth still in this scenario or not determines how the characters would approach being turned (back) into something non human. But I would say it's how it would work for Sam and Dean. They're monster hunters, it is season 1/2. It's pretty black and white still.

[daisukekaza]

THIIIIS.

Don't get me wrong, I love reading fic where John has those types of reaponses for the conflict too, but the way he treats them in canon? He's so afraid of losing what's left of his family-- what's left of his wife-- that it stops occuring to him that his kids are kids. That they aren't just soldiers because he was a soldier and they're not just extension of himself and his grief.

If he told them that they shouldn't feel things, it was because he felt so much grief he was numb with it and he can't let it paralyze him. He needed to protect them and get revenge to keep them safe and somewhere he lost the plot on how protecting them is his job and not Dean's. How teaching his kids to fight the monsters they shouldn't know about isn't a substitute for protecting them.

He's a broken man who can't see his own abuse until Sam throws it in his face by being just like him while Dean quietly tries to keep the non-existent peace. And just when he manages to start figuring out how to fix that, he goes and sacrifices himself instead and passes on his solution to Sam's being the true vessel of the devil without any of his reasons why or information about what's going on to Dean. It's all so fucked up but it's also so realistic for a character with his background.

Because let's also not forget his own trauma of his dad disappearing (thanks, time travel) and having the closest thing to a father figure for him be the military.

At least Sam and Dean got Bobby and Pastor Jim sometimes to mitigate some small parts of the damage, but John did a number on them without having to be physical or homophobic or anti-feelings. His biggest sin was being absent, just like his own father, and putting the weight of responsibility on Dean's shoulders. Dean raised himself based on the few memories he had of his mom, the few interactions he had with his dad, and whatever the television told him was a proper way to interact with family. Sam followed Dean's lead, but adults were transient creatures to him. Never permanent.

Abuse takes a lot of forms, and I'd be willing to bet that one of the real reasons that they never had a home base like Bobby's house was to avoid CPS while John hunted monsters.

Meanwhile Dean is barely old enough to buy food at a grocery store and I don't think we ever really learn how he got the money before he was old enough to hustle pool--assuming he didn't just steal what they needed instead. Sam never trusts adults enough to talk to them even when he's angry at his dad, and neither of them is in one place long enough to make friends who might notice what's going on. They're codependent for a lot of reasons in this show, but a huge one is that John never let them make any lasting connections with anyone else, even him.

On paper, John's crusade might seem Good and Just, but in reality it makes him a broken, abusive father. He doesn't need to have bad intentions, or be narrow minded about gender or sexuality, or even be emotionally constipated (though he might be that, he doesn't have to explicitly teach that to Sam or Dean) to be those things.

yeah to me it feels like the popular idea that John was homophobic/beat his kid(s)/taught them that having emotion makes you weak is just ppl choosing to interpret 'abusive father' in the shallowest most black-and-white movie villain way possible. when the ways he fucks them up in canon are so much more interesting and complicated.

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

KARKAT: HOLD ON A FUCKING SECOND. DELAWARE IS A STATE?? I THOUGHT IT WAS A RIVER? OR IS THE RIVER MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE STATE? WHY DON'T I KNOW THIS? (I SHOULD MENTION I DON'T LIVE IN AMERICA, I'M JUST CONFUSED)

DIRK: There is Delaware (state) and delaware (river)

DIRK: Both are equally strange. The state is a tiny little cryptid thing, the river is a monster that spans New York, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and Delaware.

DIRK: Also Washington crossed it once and that was like kinda a big deal I guess. Like crossing the rubicon in rome.

DIRK: The state tries to be more important with its “I'm the first state!!!” bs (seriously its even on the fucking license plates) but we all know. It’s the river.

ROXY: i thought.. i thought delaware was a plqastic container thingy… its a state??

DIRK: THAT’S TUPPERWARE.

TAVROS: i THOUGHT DELAWARE WAS A PLACE IN OHIO,, wHY ARE THERE SO MANY THINGS NAMED DELAWARE,,,

DIRK, looking up how many places are called Delaware, there’s like 13: Delaware is too powerful.

KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK.

JOHN: wait what? i thought delaware was a store with building supplies. like paint, wood, nails and stuff?

DIRK: THAT’S HOME DEPOT???

JOHN: i know home depot, but dude i don't know anything about america and have never really gone anywhere. are you sure there is not a some sort of store called something close to delaware!?!

DIRK:

DIRK: …Ace Hardware……?

DAVE: this post has only been around for a few hours but could very well be a world heritage post

ROXY: WHAT????? this website is free

DIRK: But at what cost.

ROSE: This post launched at 8am PST on 12 Feb 2021. The above conversation has happened in 3 hours.

DAVE: guys the president is literally from delaware youre gonna have to learn what the fuck it even is

KARKAT: HE *WHAT*? I THOUGHT HE WAS FROM. W. WAIT. ???

DIRK: Delaware stole the presidents shoelaces for clout and became too powerful.

JAKE: From the uk- and what do you mean delaware isn't a type of ceramic?

DIRK, throwing his hands up in defeat: It is now.

TEREZI: 1SNT D3L4W4R3 WH4T TH3Y M4K3 COMPUT3RS ON??? >:?

DIRK: Software ??

SOLLUX: ii thiink they meant dell ware, a 2peciifiic computer type. we had a dell computer once.

SOLLUX: ii thought delaware wa2 that famou2 2iinger they 2poofed iin zootopiia.

DIRK: Gazelle??

KANAYA: Oh I Thought Delaware Was That One British Singer Lady, You Know, The One From Chasing Pavements

DIRK, visibly distressed: That’s fucking Adele.

VRISKA: Isn’t Delaware that place you go when you die????????

ARADIA: y0ure thinking 0f superhell and all 0f y0u are g0ing there

ROSE: How the fuck did any of you come to the conclusions you all made.

DAVE: we live in america

GAMZEE: I tHoUgHt DeLaWaRe WaS tHaT fOoD dElIvErY sErViCe ThAt KeEpS iNtErRuPtInG yOuTuBe ViDeOs WiTh ThEiR aDs WhEn I'm TrYiNg To HaVe A gOoD tImE :o(

EQUIUS: D--> ..... Are you talking about doordash???

ERIDAN: isnt delawwere the name of that one girl in the song that goes "hey there delawwere" shes from neww york city or somethin

DIRK, about to start pulling his hair out: THAT’S HEY THERE DELILAH.

ROSE: Pausing here to point out that op is “dear-AO3″ and now I’m wondering if Delaware fanfiction would be categorized as RSF (real state fic) or AU (alternate unitedstates)

DIRK: Stop. I do not want to think about this.

NEPETA: :33 < isnt delaware that spn ship that exploded the internet?

DIRK: DESTIEL??????

SOLLUX: ii love that the “no, that’2 [x]” meme ii2 makiing a comeback here and only here and nobody ha2 any iidea what’2 goiing on.

ERIDAN: keep up the good wwork wwe can make poor op havve a melt dowwn yet

DIRK: *puts his head in his hands*

FEFERI: Isn't delaware t)(at one brand of pizza t)(at's like "it's not delivery, it's delaware."

DAVE: is delaware becoming the new benedict cumberbatch

EQUIUS: D--> isn't delaware the god of the sea

DIRK:

JADE: isn't delaware the name of that guy who painted the mona lisa???

DIRK:

TAVROS, going along with the bit: hM,, dELAWARE IS THAT ONE EVIL CYBORG GUY THAT HAS A SON NAMED LUKE AND A RED LASER SWORD,

SOLLUX, also going along with the bit: that2 darth vader. iim pretty 2ure delaware ii2 that other red-la2er 2word guy. you know. the one that 2tabbed quii-gon.

DIRK: What have I created.

HAL: I usually only reblog older posts, but this definitely deserves to be in every tumblr hall of fame.

DIRK: This post has only existed for 8 days.

DAVE: this is fantastic because it goes great with my theory that delaware only exists for tax purposes like all the states really only exists for tax purposes but felaware is particularly fake because back in 2012 i got lost in the alleged delaware area looking trying to get to a family reunion but every time i pulled over for directions i would ask what the hell state i was in now and i went through mayland pennsylvania new jersey AND virginia and i never fucking found delaware so im convinced that not only is the state a purely legal construct they didnt even dedicate any landmass to it or its a government blackzone where the carnivorous horses live

DIRK, quietly: What? That never happened. Dave, what the fuck are you talking about-

KARKAT: WORLD HERITAGE POST.

ROXY: this post literally fills me with life tysm

JANE: this post confused the heck out of me, i don't even know whats going on in this post, why the hell am i rebloging it?

[helloliriels]

'2022 YEAR OF THE CRACK FIC' CHALLENGE IS ON!

Are you writing a Crack Fic to enter in this years' Challenge? Any questions? Let me know! What is Crack? - If you wouldn't normally write it - too silly, too over the top, too out of your box? Write it! Toss it in the ring! THis is YoUr ChaNce To ThRoW OuT thE RuLeS! Do eet. Thank me later. Bahaha! (and maybe win some art in return?!)

🍬 Do Not Microwave Him! by FawnHickory - Part 1 of Skittles series!

🍫 Skittles by FawnHickory - Part 2 of the Skittles series!

🍭 Dinner Jackets & Deception by trillian_jdc- Mycroft Holmes and Greg Lestrade are spies, sent to gather information from a target through seduction if necessary, but they find each other a bit of a distraction.

🍬 In Another Life by RiTheBiGuy_TileyTMR- My submission for the year of the crack fic challenge so enjoy. Also this just gets so ridiculous so yeah I have no idea how to prepare you all for that …

🍫 Love Potion No.9 by helloliriels - Sherlock pretends to be under the spell of a love potion to hit on John and see how he takes it? In which, Sherlock Holmes is a shy genius. And Mike & Molly are good wingmen.

🍭 Did You Steal My Penis? by FawnHickory- John is trying to have a nice cup of tea when Sherlock has a small crisis.

🍬 Love At First Bite by Fluffbyday_Smutbynight - “It’ll be fun,” Mike had said. Recently discharged John Watson has an… interesting night out.

🍫 Snow Angels, Baker Street Style by FawnHickory - John discovers a hole in Greg’s life experiences and remedies it rather creatively.

🍭 Vegetables by FawnHickory - Sherlock is accidentally exposed to a hallucinogenic substance. The comparisons his mind makes are interesting.

🍬 Sherlock Needs a Doctor … For His Writing by trillian_jdc - Sherlock tries writing up some of his own cases, but he needs some medical advice. Perhaps Mycroft knows a candidate?

🍫 Birdie Sitting! by FawnHickory - Part 3 of the Skittles series!

🍭 Zing and You’ll Miss It! by Raina_at - Every year, the monster community meets at Halloween for a big party. Sherlock is bored out of his mind as usual, when suddenly a handsome human stumbles into the monster party. 

🍬 Do Not Download the Souls! by helloliriels - Sherlock ‘on-the-side-of-the-angels’ Holmes was not supposed to be a detective … John Hamish Watson was not supposed to be dead … We all have bad days. (WIP)

🍫 So You’re Like Me by Yuliares - The sun is going down, and John Watson is standing in front of a looming mansion with a delivery for one Sherlock Holmes. aka “Homosexula” Twitter crack

🍭 CPR by MutedSilence - Sherlock sings CPR by CupcakKe when he’s alone. What can he say, it’s catchy.

🍬 It Happens For Good by hey_there_buddy - “John, have you-” John stared at Sherlock, his blue eyes boring into the detective’s calculating one, waiting for Sherlock to finish the sentence. Which Sherlock never finished.

🍫 No matter the chase, it’s you by my side by Yuliares - “Jesus Christ!” yells John, nearly spilling his hot mug of tea over his lap. He glares as Sherlock bursts into the room. “What is it now?”

“It’s Valentine’s day,” hisses Sherlock, stabbing the mantlepiece, face scrunched up in disdain.

🍭 A Tooth For A Traumatic Experience by MutedSilence - Sherlock loses a tooth and learns about the tooth fairy.

🍬 Speak Now! by Raina_at - Now is not the time to say something ... Last chance. Make up your mind, Holmes!

🍫 I Will Go Down With This Ship! by helloliriels - Their ship was sinking. John & Sherlock hold each other. (yes, I rewatched Titanic)

🍭 Duet by PlantsAreNeat - Intimacy can be measured by how comfortable one feels with another person, even at moments when perhaps, one should feel embarrassed.

🍬 Why Are You Hiding In The Dark? by FawnHickory - Fill for a Tumblr prompt! Dialogue prompt “…Why are you hiding in the dark?”

🍫 Mrs. Hudson’s Crack Brew! by ChrisCalledMeSweetie Mrs. Hudson is beginning to regret the part she played in bringing Sherlock and John together. Not to put too fine a point on it, those boys are LOUD. Can she find a way to make things better? Or will she only make them worse? It all depends on your perspective…

🍭 Sherly Boner and Jammy Hotson Investigate the Threatened Queens by MutedSilence. Sherlock never expected John Watson to be a great Drag Queen. He will have John in his bed by the end of the night - consensually of course.

🍬 I Love Lamp by helloliriels. It was a ridiculous whim … buying the lamp. And Sherlock just might lose his mind, trying to unlock it’s secrets … 

🍫 Uncover My (S)mouldering Heart by Asterisko. The mould in 221C might not be what it seems.

🍭 Human Urges by topsyturvy_turtely. John hated it. He utterly and truly hated it. He despised himself for it. It was going on his nerves. In fact it annoyed the fucking SHIT out of him. That stupid, always present, torturing urge to be kissed!

🍬 Sherlock’s Secret Laboratory Journal by meet_me_in_samarra. What does a helplessly pining but absolutely clueless Sherlock do in order to woo an oblivious John? He turns to the internet for advice on the art of seduction and notes the experiments in his secret laboratory journal …

Have a Crack Fic to add to the Challenge?? Post it on AO3 and add it to ‘2022_Crack_Fix’ collection, or tag @helloliriels with ‘#2022 year of the crack fic’ on Tumblr!

@johnlocky @ohlooktheresabee @chinike @rhasima @myriath @fawnhickory @john-smiths-jawline @gaylilsherlock @chriscalledmesweetie @topsyturvy-turtely @justanobsessedpan @bluebellofbakerstreet @inevitably-johnlocked @meetinginsamarra @musingsofmyown @janetm74 @sgam76 @mutedsilence @summerfly-lesbian @impalaparkedat221b @raina-at @khorazir @kettykika78 @kaursblog11 @luciengenic @safedistancefrombeingsmart @masterofhounds @whatnext2020 @loki-lock @detafo @lavenderandvanilla @johannadc @jilldarbc @dinner--starving @therealsaintscully @calaisreno @purplevatican @arwamachine @discordantwords @simplyclockwork @totallysilvergirl @blogstandbygo @writingloud

[hintsofhoney]

Incubus

Paring(s): Dean Winchester x F!Reader (mostly platonic)

Summary: The case you and the Winchesters are on turns out to be a monster under your bed.

Square(s) Filled: Demon for @spnmixedbingo​

Tags: 18+, crack, language, dirty dream, very light smut (literally just like... neck kissing lmao), I literally have no idea what this is but I’m also obsessed with it (???)

Word Count: 3.5k

A/N: I wrote this for @there-must-be-a-lock’s Fics Against Humanity Challenge as well as for @smol-and-grumpy’s What the Actual Plot Challenge. For Fics Against Humanity, my prompt was, “Defenestration is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off” and for the What the Actual Plot, I had to tell a story about the time the monster under my bed tried to seduce me while including a snow storm, chakra cleansing, diabetes, and a porn addiction. This was beta’d by my lovely @deangirl93​🤍 Prompts will be in bold. GIF is mine. I hope you guys enjoy whatever the hell this is.

You can also read me on Ao3!

DEAN WINCHESTER MASTERLIST | SUPERNATURAL MASTERLIST | MAIN MASTERLIST

“So, how do you know this guy again?” you asked, staring out of the backseat window as you watched snow-covered mountains appear on the horizon. 

“Think our dad worked a case for him years ago. I dunno. Never met him. But he said he thinks that it’s ‘something John would know how to deal with’, so I figured that’s gotta be our kinda thing,” Dean replied, placing his hand in front of the vent to the lower left of the steering wheel in an attempt to warm it.

“We’re driving to a cabin in the middle of buttfuck Wyoming in the dead of winter on a hunch?” you asked irritably, crossing your arms over your chest as you sat back in your seat, the cold of the leather seeping in through your clothes. You hated sitting in the back of the Impala during the winter time – the heat could be on full blast and it still wouldn’t reach you, leaving you to freeze no matter how many layers you had on. 

“We’ve driven further for less,” Dean reasoned, shoving a few gummy worms into his mouth as he tried to keep his eyes on the road. 

You sighed – he was right. But that was in the summertime, and Baby’s AC worked much better than her heat did. “Slow down on the gummy worms, will you?” you changed the subject, not wanting to go back to the boring quiet that had been consuming the car prior to your first question. “You’re gonna give yourself diabetes.” 

“Yeah, right,” he snorted. “I’ve never even had a cavity, Y/N.” 

“Diabetes and cavities have nothing to do with each other,” Sam chimed in, giving his brother a questioning look. 

“Yeah, they do. You eat too much sugar, bam – cavities. Even more sugar, bam – diabetes. If I haven’t had enough sugar to give me a cavity then I really haven’t had enough to give me diabetes.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Not at all how that works,” he sighed, before looking over to you in the rearview. “You got a word of the week for us, Y/N?”

You smiled at his question before pulling out your phone. Hunting tore you away from your regular life when you were in your third year of college – and you had always hated that you never got the chance to finish. You were an English major, and so, in an effort to retain at least a little of what you had learned, you had a ‘Word of the Week’ app installed on your phone. Every Sunday it’d give you a rare word, and then you challenged yourself to use it within the week. Sam being Sam liked joining in on the fun, but Dean always used the opportunity to make fun of you – lovingly, of course. 

“Defenestration,” you announced, reading from your ‘Word of the Week’ app. 

“Sounds dirty,” Dean snickered, plopping another gummy worm into his mouth.

You rolled your eyes. “It’s the act of throwing someone out of a window. In other words, what I want to do to you most days.” You weren’t lying – the green-eyed hunter did get on your nerves about 98% of the time… but the other 2%? The other 2%, when he was cupping your face after you had nearly been knocked out cold from a fight, asking if you were okay with worry in his eyes, or when he would make you a burger just the way you liked it without you having to ask because he could tell you were hungry, or when he would call you ‘sweetheart’ to get your attention while asking the most simple of questions, like ‘Sweetheart, have you seen my boots?’, like you were his and not just a best friend that he lived with – those were the times that you found yourself wishing that the two of you were more.

“Haha,” Dean deadpanned in response to your snarky remark as he stared back at you in the rearview. 

You shot him a sarcastic smile in return, and Sam chuckled softly at the interaction. “Well, not sure how we’re gonna use that one this week,” he said, turning around to face you with a look that said, ‘got any ideas?’.

“Sam, we hunt monsters. At some point, someone’s getting thrown out of a window.” 

“As long as it ain’t me,” Dean piped up through a mouthful of gummy worms. 

“No promises.”

A few hours later Dean was pulling up to your destination, all three of you sharing the same speechless expression as you took the place in. Before you had left, he had somewhat briefed you on the case, explaining that Jim, the man who had called, owned a cabin out in the Wyoming mountains that he liked to rent out during the winter months. He had failed to mention that the “cabin” was more like a modern log mansion with massive floor-to-ceiling windows on the top and bottom floors, a balcony, and a front porch that was probably the size of the bunker’s library. The three of you slowly got out of the car, staring up at the fortress in front of you.

“Is this the definition of a cabin these days?” you asked, not even caring about the freezing mountain air biting at your cheeks – you were too excited for the opportunity to live in luxury for a few days – even if you were here to fight a monster.

“Guess so,” Dean replied, his hot breath visible as it mixed with the cold air.

The three of you began walking up to the front door after collecting your duffels from the Impala, still in awe of your home for the next few nights. Not sleeping in a musty roadside motel room was a luxury that you were never able to afford. In a way, the size of the place would make the case slightly more difficult. Dean had explained that the last few renters had claimed to hear whispers in the middle of the night, along with the feeling of being watched while they slept. No flickering lights or cold spots, but after the previous family had checked out, apparently there was a faint smell of sulfur in the air. Jim had gotten everything checked out by the gas, water, and electric companies, and he was told that nothing was wrong. That was when he had decided to call John, whose voicemail had directed him to Dean.

You watched as Dean bent down and picked up the doormat, grabbing the house key from underneath it. You readjusted the bag on your shoulder as he unlocked the door, allowing you and Sam to go in ahead of him before he stepped in after you, closing the barrier behind him. 

The inside was even more impressive than the outside. The front door opened into a massive open floor plan living room and kitchen with enough seating for you and every hunter you knew, a large flat screen TV above the fireplace, and what had to be at least a ten foot tall Christmas tree before the two-story window that looked out into the front yard. Your gaze followed up the tree, your neck craning backwards to look at the high ceilings, before spotting the loft above the kitchen which had a hallway on either end of it that you assumed led to the bedrooms.

The three of you were all doing the same thing – slowly spinning in place as you looked around, none of you ever having stayed in something this nice before.

“Jim said we can have the place as long as it takes for us to kill this thing, right?” you breathed.

Dean nodded, taking a few steps further into the house and glancing down the hallways that branched off of the living room in either direction.

“Then let’s take our time.”

After a dinner of spaghetti and meatballs, courtesy of Jim and his fridge which he assured you all was for guests, the three of you agreed that it was best to get some shut-eye as the drive had been long and you were all worn out. You had managed to snag the master bedroom (thank you to whoever invented the rule of “dibs”), and it was almost ten by the time you had showered and gotten into bed. The large window behind your headboard allowed the sound of the high winds outside to fill up the room, the soft whooshing soothing you to sleep. For a moment before you drifted off, you could have sworn you heard someone whispering, “I want you” from underneath your bed, Dean’s face popping up in your mind a few seconds later, whispering the same thing in your ear as he trailed kisses down your neck, and your ability to distinguish reality from your dreams left you as you entered a deep sleep.

You woke up the next morning with a tightness in your abdomen, arousal between your legs, and your heart racing. You turned onto your back, staring at the ceiling as you tried to forget the dream you had. Your mind wandered back to the whisper you heard before you had fully entered your fantasy, wondering if it could in any way be related to the case you were here for. You pulled the comforter off of you with a frustrated sigh, making a mental note to ask the boys if they had heard anything last night too, as you opened your bag and pulled out some leggings and a work-out tank. Before you could do anything else, you needed to clear your head of the dirty images of Dean that were still floating around in it, and there was no better way to do that than with some morning yoga. 

Making your way downstairs with your yoga mat tucked under your arm, the smell of bacon and eggs filled your nostrils. You nodded a quick good morning to the brothers, Sam at the stove making eggs as Dean sat at the counter with a half-eaten piece of bacon in his hand.

“Mornin’ sunshine,” he greeted, raking his eyes over your body quickly – though it didn’t go unnoticed by you. 

He watched as you set up your yoga mat in front of the Christmas tree, chuckling as he saw you realize that the view of the front yard that had been there yesterday was now gone, replaced by a five foot wall of white snow pushed up against the glass. 

“Snow storm last night,” Sam explained. “We’re stuck here ‘til it melts, whether we kill this thing or not.” 

“Jesus,” you replied under your breath, “that’s like, five feet of snow overnight.” 

“You didn’t hear it? Fucking blizzard outside kept me up all night,” Dean mumbled irritably, taking another bite of his breakfast. 

You shook your head, thankful that you were facing away from them as you felt a blush rise in your cheeks when you thought about why you didn’t hear anything last night. You took a deep breath as you sat down on your mat and closed your eyes, bringing your hands in a prayer position to your chest. Trying to clear your mind, you zeroed in on your breathing, attempting to ignore the pair of eyes that you were feeling on your back. 

“I didn’t know you cleansed your chakras or whatever when we’re on cases,” Dean stated.

“I’m surprised you even know what a chakra is,” you replied with a mental roll of your eyes and another deep breath, doing your best to ignore him. 

“You should try it sometime,” Sam chimed in, as he scrambled the eggs in front of him.

“What, yoga?”

“Yeah, it’s good for you. I do workouts with Y/N in the morning sometimes. I couldn’t touch my toes a few months ago, now I can.” 

“The hell would I ever need to be able to touch my toes for?” 

Their conversation faded into the background of your consciousness while you zeroed in on your chest rising and falling, allowing a wave of peace washing over you as you maneuvered your way into a downward facing dog a few moments later.

Dean swallowed down the groan that almost escaped him, masking it with a cough as he acted like some bacon went down the wrong pipe. He had always known that you had done yoga in the mornings, however, you usually always did it in your room, and on days that Sam had joined you, it was before Dean was ever awake. If this was the sight that he had been missing out on, maybe he could try some self-help touchy-feely yoga crap himself. 

Sam cleared his throat, bringing Dean out of his incoming dirty thoughts, as he placed some scrambled eggs on his brother’s plate. He mumbled a thank you as he turned around, and you silently thanked Sam in your head for distracting him, because having him watch you was doing nothing to clear your mind of the night you had.

About 15 minutes later you were rolling up your mat, satisfied with your workout and ready to start the day. Leaning the squishy material against the couch, you made your way to the counter, taking a seat next to Dean as you piled some bacon and eggs onto your plate. With your head a little clearer, you decided to ask them if they had heard anything other than the wind last night. 

“So,” you began, shoving a forkful of eggs into your mouth, “did you guys hear anything else last night? You know, besides the blizzard.” 

“What?” Dean questioned, confused.

“Whispering, for example? Like the renters had been hearing.”

“No. Did you?” Sam inquired.

You shrugged. “I think so? I mean, it could have been –” you stopped dead in your tracks, realizing that you were toeing the line on admitting that you had a dirty dream, “ – nothing. Like, I could have been imagining it or something.”

“What’d you hear?” Dean asked.

“Um, it was weird. Like, seductive, almost? ‘I want you’ was what I heard.”

Dean had to work to keep his laughter at bay and you shot him a look that could kill as you shoved a mouthful of egg into your mouth. 

Sam let an amused huff escape him. “You sure you weren’t just hearing Dean’s porn addiction from across the hall?”

The older Winchester scowled at him, opening his mouth to reply before you interrupted.

“Guys, I’m serious. It could be the thing we’re here for, right?”

Dean sighed in defeat. “Okay. Where were the sounds coming from?”

“From under my bed.” You kept a straight face, despite how ridiculous you knew it sounded.

“Are you tellin’ me there’s a monster under your bed trying to seduce you?” Dean snorted, but you didn’t find it funny at all. 

“Look, I know it sounds ridiculous, and I could have imagined it for all we know but it does fit with what Jim was telling us, right? Whispers in the middle of the night? It’s worth looking into.” 

“No, I agree,” Sam smiled sweetly, and you gave him a grateful look as you stood up from your stool and walked your plate to the sink. 

“I’m off to shower, then we can get to work.”

The search was not going well. While Sam had stuck to the lore and his laptop – the things he was best at – you and Dean had torn the master bedroom apart from top to bottom and put it back together again. The only place you hadn’t checked was under your bed – in part because you didn’t want to hear Dean making fun of you for it, but also because you were partially scared that this maybe wasn’t a monster at all, but some creep hiding under beds and whispering his version of sweet nothings to people while they slept. Somehow, demented humans made you more uncomfortable than the supernatural ever could.

“Are you serious?” he asked, as he caught you staring at the bed, mustering up the courage to look underneath it. 

“Yeah, I’m fuckin’ serious! Do you know how creepy it is to have some voice whispering “I want you” to you in the dead of the night?”

“I just call that a good night,” he smirked.

Rolling your eyes, you let an irritated huff escape you as you folded your arms over your chest, feigning annoyance and pretending like his joke didn’t bring back images of him whispering the same three words to you in your dreams last night. “Will you please just check?” you asked, swallowing your pride.

Dean held back a chuckle as he walked over to the bed, dropping to his knees one at a time as he lifted the comforter out of the way. “See?” he prompted, glancing over to you as he motioned to the darkness underneath with his whole hand, “Nothing under here but some…” he trailed off as he ducked his head to take a better look, before finishing his sentence with, “sulfur. Well, I’ll be damned. There was a monster under your bed.”

The two of you made your way back down to the kitchen after your discovery, where Sam was still sitting at the counter, trying to find an explanation for the whispers that you had heard last night.

“Anything?” he asked hopefully, as Dean and you came to stand across from him.

“There’s traces of sulfur underneath her bed,” the green-eyed Winchester replied, his tone lined with a slight hint of disbelief.

“So, demon then?” Sam questioned.

“Can’t think of anything else that it could be.”

A smile spread across Sam’s lips – you knew that smile. It was the one he always got before he said his most famous phrase –

“So, get this,” he began, turning his laptop at an angle so all three of you could see. “The Incubus is a demon that preys upon sleeping women in order to engage in sexual activity with them,” he read. “It is said that the Incubus disturbs and seduces women in their sleep – some have even reported hearing seductive whispers coming from underneath their beds.” 

“Well, that sure as hell sounds like our guy,” you scoffed, always amazed by Sam’s nail-on-the-head research abilities. “How do we kill the fucker?”

“Well, it’s still a demon, so…”

“Right, but… it would need a vessel,” you reasoned. “There’s no one in my room, we’ve looked everywhere.” 

Sam sighed in thought as he leaned back in his seat. “Well, we could always start an exorcism. That might bring it out of its hiding spot. And then one of you can gank it when it comes out.”

Dean nodded in agreement. “Sounds like a plan.”

Half an hour later, you found yourself standing in the master bedroom with Sam and Dean on either side of you, all of you staring at the bed that you had had the best dream sex (or was it technically real sex, if the demon entered your mind as Dean?) of your life in – not that they would ever know that. 

You nodded to Sam, signaling him to begin, readjusting your grip on the demon blade in your hand. Your heart felt like it was about to beat out of your chest – you weren’t good with jump scares and you had a feeling that this was going to be one. With all six eyes trained to the bed, expecting the demon to somehow appear from underneath it, none of you noticed the dresser door slowly opening across from it. Sam was nearly halfway through the exorcism when you saw movement in your peripheral, and that was when Dean yelled, “It’s in the dresser!” and you launched yourself at it as it stepped fully out of the wardrobe. You hadn’t noticed the large window in between the dresser and the bed until you were charging full force at the vessel in front of you. Catching it off guard, you felt the blade go into its chest, the validating sizzle and spasm of light erupting from it letting you know that you had done the job. You, however, couldn’t stop your momentum, and the next few seconds were a total blur as you heard glass shattering and then suddenly you were on the floor and the demon was nowhere to be found. After a few moments of dumbfounded silence, you realized what you had done. 

The boys came to join you as you looked over the edge of the window sill, the cold air biting at your faces as it filtered into the room. You chuckled as you saw your creepy admirer laying face up in the snow, demon blade still lodged in his chest. Dean let out a groan as he realized that he was going to have to make his way through five feet of snow to retrieve it, but you were grinning from ear to ear.

“The hell’s got you so smiley?” Dean asked. “And why’d you run at it like that!? Could’ve gotten yourself killed!” 

You shrugged as you took one last look at your demon friend, and then turned your attention back to Dean. “You know what they say. Defenestration is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off.”

[queerwritersingerdramaqueen]

ONE MORE, PLEASE LET IT ONLY BE ONE MORE REBLOG AND PLEASE LET THIS ISSUE BE RESOVLED COME THE VENGEANCE SAGA

 Hera/Hudson - BIG MAMA HUDSON COMING IN. She is extremely straight forward in her understanding of all this and, honestly, throughout the Manga gives off the vibe that she does not have the best luck with men (whether in finding them or keeping them). However you want to look at it, her reasoning is, "William broke up with Sherlock, Sherlock sad, make William go boom." Seriously though, the bar was so fucking low and Zeus still manages to fly under it, what the fuck man. I fucking choked when i first heard Hera's part. Anyway, Sherlock just starts listing off everything he likes about him and then comes to the understanding that Hudson needs a stronger reason and throws the fucking curveball at her. And she can't quite fight that logic but she still has her suspicions. Hudson is coming from a place of care but also some admiration for William and maybe she’s rooting for the two of them just a little bit and that’s why she’s willing to listen over arguing.   I'd also like to say really quickly, again, that this is my own little universe and what’s happening here should not in any way reflect on how you handle things in real life. I feel like, at least from 221B's perspective, I paint William really badly and that's because they haven't been around all the things happening on set for as long as Sherlock. They don't have the same inner context and if this were an actual written fic with introspection and differing perspectives on the situation at hand, maybe it would come across better; but yes, I am fully aware that in this number, it sounds like William is a prick. That'll be rectified with the coming sagas where William portrays his love for Sherlock more explicitly than in, lets say, Monster.  LUKE HOLT THE MAN YOU ARE. He already has the deepest voice I've ever heard and he just GOES BIGGER???? JUST LIKE THAT??? That's fucking awesome. That aside: Zeus throws his temper tantrum and I'd really like if there was a way to let him jump from some high place for this with a "lightning bolt" because that would be so cool. That part's simple enough, (also, john being the one to ask if Athena is dead, with that tone of voice is just *cries in sibling*) it's the next part that's gonna make me fucking lose it. Obviously, we can't do like what they did in the livestream. SO WE'RE DOING THIS: Lights turn blue and during the simple Piano melody, William comes out and meets Athena on the ground, helping him up just a bit and by the time of the big crescendo, William's helping Sherlock stumble forward until he doesn't need to anymore and he walks off backstage. Sherlock's reaching for William when he does the "let him go" and only just remembers to direct it at Jack and say please. The symbolism in this is like when Sherlock talks about William reaffirming his existence. William helped Sherlock forward just as much he helped William and I want to EMPHASISE that because this relationship looks REALLY one sided in this form of writing. Then he just passes the fuck out.

So this one isn't super heavy plot wise, mostly because the real world timeline is now all messy with the musical world. I'd imagine we're getting towards some form of conclusion. I'm still trying to figure out if Milverton "courting" Penelope/Sherlock will have a significance in the real world or if he'll have some superficial reason (like, "aww darn it, I wanted to be Odysseus"), but the main thing is that I'm not doing stupid relationship drama. I did not spend all this time teaching them COMMUNICATION, just for them to be silly over a misunderstanding. Also, Sherliam + Bill family sign me the fuck up.

Nonetheless, this is still one of my favourites to work on. I was so excited to finally get to play around with Sherlock, Bill and 221B, I love them so much. If there is literally any better option than Albert to play Calypso, I'd love to hear it (but granted, albert would enjoy playing Calypso and maybe I'll give him some double entendre drama in "not sorry for loving you" (any alcroft shippers in the audience?)). I've listened to pieces of the next saga and all I'm going to say is that Mycroft has no clue Sherlock is seeing William again and he has some thoughts.

*Calypso voice* ANYWAY, Sorry it took me so long, I got fucking curveballed into the sun and I'm still busy. Tumblr has apparently decided it doesn't like my posting lengths and WON'T SAVE ANYTHING PAST A SPECIFIC LENGTH; but I will persevere. I got to have some fun chats before this started with my good good friend @aka-no-ken so this saga was fleshed out before I even wrote it. Thank you so much for reading, I hope I don't lose my mind before the next saga comes out.

TUMBLR, I WILL MAKE YOU POST THIS

PREVIEW: 

AKA-NO-KEN YOU ACTUAL PHSCHIC HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GUESS ALL MY GOD CASTINGS CORRECTLY???

AGAIN, WISDOM SAGA SPOILERS SO READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. ALSO MAYBE A TRIGGER WARNING FOR LOVE IN PARADISE CAUSE THAT WAS MORE THAN I WAS FUCKING EXPECTING.

THIS IS SHERLOCK AND BILL'S FUCKING SAGA NOW BITCHES BROS AND NON-BINARY HOES. AND AGAIN, I'M FANGIRLING AS I GO.

So, with where we left off, William's having a minor relapse in his mental state but it won't become too much of a plot point/serious thing. He and Moran are on funky terms but if there is no "reconciliation" in later sagas then We'll figure that out when we get there. Anyway, this saga ain't about him.

(ALSO, I MISSED A FUCKING OPPOURTUNITY

VON HERDER AS TIRESIAS, IM A FOOL)

Anyway, lets get started.

The Wisdom Saga:

Legendary - BILL IS HERE FUCKERS. SHERLIAM'S ADPOTED SON IS GONNA BE LEGENDARY. I really like how this parallels with Canon when Bill only knew William as a genius professor and Sherlock's actually the one who introduces them in a way. It'll set up nicely for when we get to "I can't help but wonder" and Telemachus/Bill has to toss up with the fact that his Dad just removed the twenty year problem but he did also kill a bunch of people (you know, like in canon.). So this starts out with the lights slowly coming in and Bill's "room" has a chair and a few other easily moveable props. This is a very dancey number I'm finding so these props are probably gonna get taken off stage so there can be actors milling around for Telemachus to interact with, I think he'd be mostly weaving between them trying to avoid them while they keep swiping at him. The majority of suitors can be off the stage but Antinous and a few others are up there ready for the "Whatcha gonna do about it, champ?" The lights would change on Boy to a red colour. It would be so cute seeing Billy fight for Sherlock's Honour. I think something really cool that could happen is when Telemachus sings "somebody help me" the lights flash blue for a second like Athena has heard his plea. and at the very end of the song, he punches Milverton square on the nose (in the fake way of course).

Little Wolf - My big idea for this that would absolutely not transfer over to a regular production of Epic the musical would be that Antinous/Milverton is not the one fighting Telemachus/Bill. I cannot really see Milverton fighting for himself and would definitely have lackey's doing it for him; but outside of this AU Antinous absolutely fights for himself. But yeah, Milverton mocks the shit out of Bill while he's fighting somebody. The lights stay red while the suitors and Milverton are doing their thing. When Athena appears the lights turn blue like fighting of the panic of being in a fight. I think this is one of those moments where its so fun having Sherlock as Athena and Penelope cause it's like "Don't worry baby, Mama's here to help." But, onto the super cool crossover intertexuality talk I can't seem to do right now, Sherlock as Athena fits very nicely cause he, alongside William, helps Bill get into the university; so Sherlock being the one helping in this fight reminds me of that. And Athena's "I've no respect for bullies" reminds me of his disdain for Milverton and his methods of blackmail. ALSO, HER PIANO IN THAT PART IS SO FUCKING GOOD I FUCKING ASCENDED. PAIRING IT WITHT HE DRUMS THAT WAY, WHO DOES JORGE THINK HE IS. In a way, this is like showing how Penelope would like to react to her suitors beating up her son (it just popped into my head but kind of like a batman meme, Penelope dressing up as the goddess of wisdom to fuck up her son's bullies). Athena's whole solo there sounds a lot like Sherlock when he was talking to Irene. And when the fight ends and Antinous says Penelope needs to pick a suitor, Athena/Sherlock is very disturbed before he helps Bill up.

We'll be Fine - The thing I love the absolute most about this musical is exploring Sherlock's side of this whole fiasco they were in and giving him a chance to vent some of this frustrations. Because it wasn't easy on him either and he might blame himself a little bit for not being able to help more. Bill knows a little bit about it from gossip and rumour and being a part of the Epic cast for a little while, not too much but between the two of them, Bill understands that Sherlock is letting out a bit of his frustration with the previous problem and the repeat that seems to be occurring, because he's super smart like that (I say seems because in real life, it won't last that long and William is probably gonna be ok and reconciled with Moran by the time we get there. It'll hopefully make sense once we get to the next saga but I just can't keep knocking this dude over he needs to start healing and giving him a less self-jeopardising problem to fight). Even though he and William have worked through a fair bit of what happened and their still going really strong, Sherlock is still worried. Sherlock's super soft on Bill because he's so similar to William. Bill, while sticking to the script, is just subtly reassuring him that it's ok, they'll get through this rough patch and they'll be fine. Sherlock doesn't need to be the first responder. A little bit of it probably comes out as Bill saying "William wouldn't want you to beat yourself up over this," especially when he mentions Athena's friend (William and Bill are also probably really close friends at this point, don't tell me William wouldn't take him under his wing immediately after they're introduced). When Athena calls him a good kid, Sherlock ruffles his hair and then Bill makes a move like someone's calling him and runs off, leaving him for the next part.

ALRIGHT I'M HAVING FUCKING ISSUES WITH TUMBLR RIGHT NOW SO STAY TUNED FOR PART TWO BECAUSE ANYTHING LONGER THAN THIS WONT FUCKING POST OR SAVE AS A DRAFT.

@aka-no-ken I'M COMING SWEETIE AND I'M BRINGING MY WORK WITH ME JUST BEAR WITH ME

[pegplunkett]

I thought I’d throw a post together with links to my ao3 fics just.. because? idk I somehow have over 200 people following me here so I guess if anyone missed any then here ya go! also thank you all for enabling me even though all I do is thirst post about hamish and make a holy show of myself in the tags

all of these are full on smut, 🔞, like pretty much straight down to business. my attitude to fic is essentially like one of my own unhinged tags - if blorbo isn’t fucking then I’m out. so like, plot? don’t know her.

father paul fics:

my first fic ever! father paul x reader get down to it in the crockett island storage room in have mercy

there’s been lots of ‘fucking in the confessional’ fics written and why? because it’s sexy as hell! so yes, I also have one and it’s called midnight meeting

it’s an exorcism! it’s sexy! it’s a sexorcism! it’s the devil made me do it!

assorted hamish check shirt men:

porter collins hates vegas but maybe a work trip, some chat about bond films and a hotel room visitor will change his mind in knock knock (this one is a sort of reimagining of that v hot scene from paper year, you know the one, but with a non-creep character)

aaand a dicey one about our favourite monster man john tyler, it’s a real dead dove do not eat sitch, warning tags all day long and approach with horny caution for the lesser of two evils

so there you go! pls enjoy! 📁

[amazing-spiderling]

top 5 asks: fics you've read recently, songs you've played on repeat lately, things you bought yourself on a whim, snacks , things that made you happy in the past few weeks, hopes for the new DD series, fic tropes

SO MANY ASKS AhhHHhh I'll do my best!

Top 5 Fics You've Read Recently:

I have to be honest, I do reread a lot of fic!

The Blinker System - MissMoochy (WIP) : Robot Matt! Robot Matt! Robot MAAAATTTTT!!!

Show Me Your Scars - pogopop : I've read this one a few times. It's got that delightful payoff from the emotional hurt that eventually shifts into acceptance and healing

You're On The List of Things I'll Never Leave Behind - yourbestkeptsecret: Ughhhh, yeah the blip would suck for those left behind but I don't hear a lot of people talking about the pain that comes from adjusting when people's loved ones return to a world they don't recognize. Top shelf feels

A Murder of Crows (A Seduction of Foes) - inkforhumanhands: okay maybe I'm biased bc this was a gift FOR MEEEE but it's also an absolutely baller fic and it has all of my favorite things including Murderdock and Foggy in college and CHRISTMAS and it's just GOOD ok

Bad Moon Rising - 94bottlesofsnapple : A werewolf story that jumps right into things and those things are very, very good. Love Matt's characteristic freak-out and Foggy's no-nonsense way of handling things. Probably going to read this again for spooky season.

Top Five Songs You've Played on Repeat Lately

(I don't know that I do endless loops of songs too often, but songs that have cropped up a lot in the last few weeks include)

Cameo Lover - Kimbra, Dream of You - Jazz Emu, Underneath it All - No Doubt, Skullcrusher Mountain - John Coltrane, Black Sheep - Metric

Top Five Things You Bought Yourself ON a Whim

I'm just gonna speak recently because I cannot remember a whole life's worth of impulse purchases. IDK if it's a pure whim, but a dress I wanted that had been sold out showed up on a used site so I snatched it up. One of my favorite musicians released an LP and I was half asleep in bed scrolling on my phone when I saw the announcement but I jumped out of bed to purchase it lol. Some spice packet to make Thai coconut curry soup. Some used copies of various Rock Band games for the X-Box 360. I've missed being able to go to karaoke and this gives me that little bit of fun back. A "Hero Lawyer" figure? Doll? Idk. 12 fancy offbrand marvel man.

Top Five Snacks

I eat a lot of nuts and seeds. Pumpkin seeds/Sunflower seeds and the like. Sometimes I make them into hummus but usually it's just a handful. I like those Snap Pea crisps in the light salt. I'm a little bit addicted to the garlic Bombay mix I pick up at the local Indian supermarket. Greek yogurt with granola or grapenuts cereal. My favorite movie snack is those terrible nachos. XD

Top Five Things that Made You Happy In The Past Few Weeks

Taking my dogs out to the park now that the weather is cool enough to do so. Being giddy with fandom friends over She-Hulk and Werewolf By Night. Getting to use my Halloween sprinkles to make festive baked goods and take them to a small outdoor tea party. Eating half a baguette with nice butter at a cafe. Beating Rock Band 3 on my own and watching all the avatars I made of my blorbos achieve rock and roll stardom in the FMVs.

Top Five Fic Tropes

Hurt/Comfort, Long distance start (penpals, voice or text only etc), Monsters (vampires, werewolves whatever), Mutual Pining, Character Insecurity

Top Five Hopes For the New DD Season

Kirsten McDuffie! Let's bring in more characters from the comics! Some more wtf villains like (but not limited to) Stilt-Man. I mean, Jessica Jones gave us a version of the Whizzer, I feel like there's room for exploration. More of Matt and Foggy's actual friendship so that if/when things get rough for them, it hurts more. >:) A reference to the events of NWH so we have a little understanding of just what Matt remembers from his involvement so we can throw the fanfic authors a bone. SAMMMMMMYYYY!!!!!

[astermacguffin]

Okay. I warn y'all that this is very much a Poast™. This is another one of Those Poasts™. You have been warned.

I very much blame (affectionate) @autisticandroids for this, since this is pretty much me trying to combine as many concepts as possible from the #mpregpocalypse tag.

In this au, Cas is pretty much just collecting babies left and right. The following stuff are all simultaneously true in this spn mpreg rewrite:

- Cas absorbs the deanlisa baby and carries the child himself. This is his first pregnancy. This is also the most "monstrous" of his children because of the godstiel stuff and the leviathans.

- For maximum effect, I don't want Cas to give birth just yet. I want Benny to see Cas with the baby bump and put the dots together in his head. I want Cas to give birth alone, after Dean and Benny already went through the rift. I want Naomi to take Cas out of purgatory and leave his child alone there. I want Cas to grieve for the loss of his child when he remembers. (We'll go back to this in the future.)

- Dean fucks Casifer at one point and impregnates Cas' body. (I mean, with Casifer peeling off his layers and thotting up the place while in the bunker? Not surprising tbh.) NOTE. I wanna be clear with something: this baby is Dean and Lucifer's nephil. I mean, biologically it's a Destiel baby, but with Cas' grace growing weaker and him being possessed by Lucifer, in terms of grace this is pretty much Lucifer's nephil. (But also not??? Because what allowed the conception to happen in the first place is Cas wanting it SO BAD.)

- No one else notices the conception of this baby because Cas hides it within himself (the same way he did with the deanlisa baby) and pauses the pregnancy at will.

- When Cas meets Kelly, they are very much BOTH pregnant with Lucifer's kid. Remember that screenshot where they both look pregnant and bonding about their babies? Yeah, this is inspired by that. When Cas touches Kelly's baby bump and they like soulbond or whatever, Kelly looks at him and goes "oh you're pregnant too?"

- Cas tells him that it's Dean's child, but leaves out the Lucifer part. They already have one Lucifer nephil in danger, he doesn't need anyone else knowing this secret (especially since he hid the nature of this child so well for so long). Kelly thinks he's hiding it because of the Dean part.

- They both know Kelly's not gonna survive giving birth, so they already have a plan: Cas will transfer the pregnancy to himself when it's almost time for Jack to come out (the same way he did with the deanlisa baby). Cas is confident that he'll survive what Kelly cannot. (His hubris, of course, always tend to bite him back.) Dean, Mary, and Sam arrive just in time to see Cas pregnant and about to give birth. Kelly catches them up on the plot.

- Cas dies of childbirth due to an unexpected complication: the pregnancy transfer triggers the birth of the other child inside him, which makes him give birth to TWO children. The strength of the explosion unfortunately kills both him and Kelly, rendering Cas' sacrifice as pointless. (As much as I wanna keep Kelly alive, the point of this au is to inflict as much damage as possible)

- Lucifer and Mary still get stuck in Apocalypse world, and now Dean and Sam have to care for TWO children, one of which is Jack (who still grows quickly) and...another baby? They have no idea who the fuck this baby is until they find two videos: one made by Kelly and one by Cas (a backup plan they made just in case one or both of them don't survive).

- In the video, Cas reveals that the child is his and Dean's nephil (again, removing the Lucifer part). Dean just takes it in stride (since they had enough sex in the later seasons for it to be a genuine possibility) and takes Cas's word.

- In any other scenario, Sam would definitely be teasing Dean for impregnating Cas. But since Cas is dead and they're still grieving, he shelves this conversation for a future time. (With so much plot happening, Sam never finds the right chance and eventually just forgets it. He's just happy that he was right all along.)

- They agree to never let anyone else learn about the baby's nature, which the baby seems to understand as well, choosing to not manifest any angelic abilities. In fact, the baby internalized Cas' instructions to keep all their secrets under wraps that the kid goes selectively mute throughout the series. (I wanna see Eileen teaching ASL to the kid.)

- The two babies scenario works great for two reasons: it satisfies my "give Dean a baby" instinct (that pretty much drives my baby jack truthing) while still keeping Jack the way that he is in canon.

- Dean lets the baby rest on Cas' chest for a short while before wrapping Cas up with the curtains. Both Dean and the baby cry over the body.

- I want to give Jack as many Problems Disorders in this au. I want him to be jealous of the way Dean treats his twin (because they're pretty much twins, right? They have the same grace-father, they got birthed by the same body, so yeah).

- Dean treats the baby with as much care and love while still treating Jack like shit. Sam once calls him out on it and says "Dean, they're both Cas' children." Dean throws out an "I can hardly look at the freak" rant. Jack wakes up Cas from the Empty, yada yada.

More fucked up shit below the cut:

- I wanna keep this as close to canon as I can, so Dean would still exhibit suicidality before Tombstone. You would think that the baby would at least hinder this instinct, but he genuinely believes that he's poison and that everyone he touches dies. (And besides, Sam is good with both Jack and the baby so they won't need me anymore, right?)

- Cas comes back, and things mostly stay the same as in canon (except there's now a baby there, who honestly won't influence much of the plot until later). Dean never really apologized that much to Jack in canon (and I still hate it) but in this au, it would work perfectly. I want Jack to believe that Dean still sees him as a freak, even if he's a bit nicer now that Cas is back. (I can and will put my entire pussy into the Dean-as-John, Jack-as-Sam parallels.)

- When Jack kills Mary, Cas hides it from Dean and Sam. We're going full Torturewife on this one, folks.

- Jack's truth spell forces Cas to confess that (1) Cas hid the fact about Jack's soullessness; (2) Cas lied about Jack killing Mary, and; (3) the Destiel baby is technically a Dean/Lucifer nephil. Chaos fucking ensues.

- Dean has to confront the fact that both of the kids (HIS kids) are Lucifer's spawn.

- Chuck doesn't really care about the baby since it never manifested any powers (yet), unlike Jack (who is a genuine threat to him).

- Moriah happens, Jack dies. (And it's even more fucked up now because despite being soulless, Jack remembers all the insecurities he got from Dean. The "It's okay, I understand" line Jack says to Dean while having a gun pointed to him is sooooooo.) Rupture happens, their divorce is finalized and Cas takes custody of the baby.

- Cas having some father-child bonding with the baby as a breather between all this fucked up stuff.

- The Trap happens, they make up, and oh? Who's this person who helped Cas escape and get the flower? It's the deanlisa baby, but now grown! Together with Emma! She was thankfully found by her big sister, Emma, when she was a baby in purgatory. She had to grow up fast and now they survive together.

- After eating Eve in order to save Cas, the deanlisa child is now technically the new Mother of monsters. Dean explains the Chuck problem, so the two choose to come with them to help.

- Cas never really explained the deanlisa baby, huh? When they get back with their now grown child (and Emma, who doesn't really hold a grudge over the entire Sam killing her thing) and Cas explains, Dean is baffled but takes it in stride. I mean, they just made up! He doesn't wanna fight with him anymore and he wants the family together again!

- They make the two stay with the baby so they'll be safe in the bunker while they try to trap Chuck with the Mark of Cain spell. It fails, of course. (But hey, at least there was sibling bonding time in the bunker.)

- Billie brings back Jack and they formulate a plan (Billie doesn't go evil in this one btw.) They strengthen Jack, Jack knows that he'll be a bomb and is totally fine with it. "Maybe if I do this one good thing, Dean won't see me as a freak anymore." Remember, Jack internalized a lot of the shit Dean said.

- Cas attempts to call out the self-sacrificial bullshit and that Dean actually loves him, but Jack insists. "You would do the same! In fact, you have done the same! (In reference to the Empty deal, which still happens here btw.) I'm just learning from all of you." If there's one thing I'm obsessed about in fics, it's when Jack calls them out for learning martyrdom from team free will.

- Dean finds out about the plan and tries to talk Jack out of it. They have a heart-to-heart, Dean finally fucking apologizes for all the complexes that he's given Jack, and Jack (for the first time) finally believes that Dean doesn't see him as a monster anymore. Jack stops the process so he doesn't become a bomb (but at least he's stronger than he was before).

- They call Billie to come up with an alternative plan. She considers the options, and says an alternative plan would be harder and would require more players in the field. "As long as we don't have to sacrifice any of our loved ones anymore, we're good," Dean says. "I don't think that's an easy request, but we'll try," Billie says, giving a pointed look at Cas. (Hmmmm, wonder how this would come to play later?)

- Billie points out that the destiel baby is in fact not powerless, but is instead choosing to supress their own power. If the child can be convinced to unlock their own capabilities, then perhaps they might stand a better chance at winning.

- They spread out to gather more allies: Sam goes to Rowena, Dean goes to Michael, Billie goes to Gabriel (yes, he's alive here), and the kids stay in the bunker with Cas to try and explore each other's abilities. (Since I hated the Michael-Lucifer nonsense of 15x19, none of that happens here. Lucifer doesn't go back and Michael doesn't betray them.)

- Jack finds out that he can push out all the energy he gathered for the bomb into a one-time-use blast. They find out that the baby can apparently enhance the power of whoever they're holding. And the new Eve apparently has traces of Godstiel/Leviathan still in her after being in the womb with them. (She also spends the time catching up with Cas because they've not seen each other for years.) Emma is just vibing there, adoring her powerful younger siblings and interrogating her father's...husband? Boyfriend? Ex? (She's still confused about their status.)

- This goes just like in S11, and they go all out and attack Chuck together until he's weak enough for Death's scythe. There's one shot where the kids are just holding hands to power each other for Jack to deliver a fatal blow. Billie is just around the corner, ready for the final blow, when Cas turns to Dean.

- "Dean, I need to say something." Cue the 15x18 confession scene, except this time Dean knows about the deal now. So the moment Dean realizes what Cas is doing, he tries to stop him.

- "Stop, please stop. Don't say it, you don't have to say it." Because of course, happiness is in just being, it's in just saying it. And Dean knows what true happiness would do.

- But unfortunately, Cas has to do it. (Billie talked to him about it, and her scythe won't exactly do a clean job with something as powerful as a Chuck-Amara hybrid. I don't know when or why they fused together since the bomb plan was cancelled, but it happened here okay? Yeah. So they need something that is guaranteed to be older and greater than God or the Darkness—the Empty. Billie can only go there, but she can't summon it to be on Earth. Enter Cas' deal.)

- Cas says "I love you," Dean reciprocates, they share a final kiss, and then Billie finally reaps God. The Empty arrives to take Chuck, and Cas shares one final moment with his kids before accepting his fate.

- Billie goes to the Empty to make sure the job was done, and she finally gives the Shadow the sleep that she promised. She uses her scythe on the Shadow, because death is the final slumber. (Of course, you can't exactly kill nothingness; she only destroyed an embodiment/personification of the Empty.)

- Post-fight. They're happy because Chuck is finally defeated but also...Cas. Before they even have the chance to process what the fuck just happened, Billie is back and she has Cas with her. "I just put the Shadow into sleep, so it's not like anyone would notice," she says. The problem is that Cas is still very much asleep. (He still has some grace here btw. Maybe he's not at full angel anymore, but he's not fully human either. There wasn't a need to cut out his grace without warning.)

- Dean and the kids crowd Cas' body. The baby's touch on Cas's shoulder (which burns a mark that parallels Dean's) is what wakes him up. Reunion kiss!

- Happy ending! Michael (with Adam) goes back to heaven to fix things, and they are very much implied to be a couple. Midam rights babyyyyyy! Gabriel goes back to roaming the world and occasionally visits the kids.

- Sam and Eileen organizes a hunter's network and organizes a bunch of safety protocols and rehabilitation projects with the help of the new Eve (which most monsters obey, key word most). Oh, and Saileen definitely swings regularly with Rowena (and occasionally with Gabriel when he's around).

- Emma decides that she likes hanging out with the Wayward Sisters better (and you know what? Good for her). The new Eve decides to hang out there often as well (whenever she isn't busy with monster diplomacy or something).

- When Jack finally feels safe and peaceful enough, he reverts back to his child form. The baby, who has been selectively mute this entire time, holds their brother's face in recognition and utters their first word, which is "JACK!" Dean and Cas cry in joy over this entire exchange. (That's his twin! He missed his twin!)

- They move out of the bunker to get their own house by a lake or something. Whenever the topic of pregnancy comes up again ("Dean, when do you want another baby again?"), they can now playfully joke about it and Dean says something like "Don't steal someone else's baby again, okay? The next baby to be inside you needs to be mine." They're both stupidly horny about the subject, I hate them so much.

- Whenever there's an important event, they all celebrate it in the bunker for the extra space (because their family is, indeed, very large). END.

There's something poetic to me about the Empty being the one that beats Chuck in this mpreg rewrite because technically, the Empty is the Original Womb that gave birth to God. It it the nothingness of potential, the dark water of pregnant beginnings.

All this talk about the Empty and stuff also made me stop and think about the metaphysics of spn. The fact that the Darkness and the Empty are two distinct entities says something interesting about the metaphysical reality of spn. It doesn't treat darkness as a mere absence of light, a mere nothingness, but rather a thing/substance of its own. It's a very Manichean kind of metaphysics as opposed to a Platonic/Neoplatonic one. (Oh, St. Augustine would probably have a blast trying to unravel whatever the fuck is happening with spn.)

The fact that it's also Cas' free will that brought upon God's demise? Delicious.

(If you're still reading, congratulations for finishing my very long spn mpreg rewrite. Why did you do this to yourself tho.)

(also apologies if I didn't give a name to Jack's siblings. I haven't thought of a good name for them just yet)

[thewincestgospel]

Wincest and J2 High School Fics

2028 AD by inlustwithsammy 

It's in 2028. Sam and Dean got reincarnated and they have no idea who they were in their past lives. They live a normal life as high school students. They grew up as best friends who live close to each other. Dean is still a playboy. Sam is still a nerd. Some things never change.

a first time for everything by riyku  In which Jared announces that his family is moving, and Jensen suddenly becomes very concerned with time.

A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More "Touch Me" by gothpandaotaku

Sam Winchester, the jaded new kid at school. Dean Winchester, the school badass who rides a motorcycle to school every morning. When they collide, sparks fly- the wrong kind. It's hate at first sight. But over time they find they have a lot more in common than they thought...

All The Other Kids  by AureaMediocritas   Dean and Sam roll into another high school. The first weeks through five students' eyes.        

Baby Steps by cherie_morte    AU: Jared is nine years old when his mom marries Jensen's dad.

The Ballad of the Invisible Boy by dollylux   This is a story of adolescence. This is a love letter for the slow burn, for Led Zeppelin, for the 90s. This is the first of two sets of stories about how Sam and Dean didn’t fall in love. They never had to. It was always there, this desperation between them, like a real, breathing thing. When they came together, it was inevitable. As sure as continents colliding, as the phases of the moon and the life and death of stars. This isn’t a love story, but it’s a story of love.SeriesPart 1 of Invisible Boy.

Becoming What We Pretend To Be by locknkey  In a fit of pique Sam brags to his high school friends that he can get Dean as his boyfriend. Dean's never been able to say no to Sam. Pretense is a slippery-slope when you're romancing your brother and it's all too easy to for the lines between what's real and what's fake to become blurred.

Bend and Break by Winmance  If Jared had to describe his life, he would say that his life is lonely. Between the bullying and his parents lack of interest, the only true joy he has is Jensen, the baseball player with who he's having sex. But everybody has a limit and Jared is about to find out his own.

Best Birthday Ever by ballsdeepinwinchesters prompted for: w[ee]cestiel + bottom!Sam For Sam’s sixteenth birthday, he only asked for one thing. He didn’t want a car, or money, or even a dog (Dean hates dogs). All Sam wanted was to get f***** by Dean and his friend, Cas.

Bitchface No.5 by bookworm1805   There's a new kid in school and Sam is being a bitch, but Dean doesn't see how the two things are related.5 stars

The Craziest Thing by thefourofswords  Sam and Dean find themselves de-aged back to 18. The only solution anybody seems to have is to go back to high school.

Crown and Anchor Me (or let me sail away) by Sena Sam Winchester is fifteen years old, at yet another new high school in yet another state, he doesn't get along with his distant, distracted father, he's figuring out that he likes guys just as much as he likes girls, his clothes never fit and his limbs ache at the joint ever since his growth spurt started, he has to study for the PSAT and, oh yeah, he's a little bit in love with his brother, Dean, who's taken a break from hunting monsters to work at a local garage for minimum wage.

Flagstaff by  Linden  John tracked Sam down in Flagstaff, four days after he got home to find him gone.

Go, Dean... by orphan_account  Prompt: Teenage Dean joining the football team and Sammy cheering him in the stands, Dean calling him his little cheerleader and making him wear the outfit while he rides his big brother... How's that for enduring football?

“Thought you wanted to be my little cheerleader, Sammy,' Dean said, tossing the gathered supplies onto the bed and crawling back between Sam’s legs. His lips sealed themselves to Sam’s, and he kissed him breathlessly. 'Loved watching you bounce up and down out on the field, everyone watching you, wishing you were theirs.'”

Good as New  by  sixtysevenlmpala  When an asshole at Dean and Sam's high school breaks Dean's amulet, he doesn't react well. But as always, Sam's there to make it better.

Hope You Don't Mind by compo67  Jared has no problems being an introvert in a family of extroverted women. He enjoys his alone time as a freshman in high school... that is until signs for prom start showing up. With both his sisters going, he begins to wonder if maybe his time alone is a little lonely.

I'll Give You What You Like by soulmatecest Jared is, by all means, the worst cheerleader in the world.He absolutely fucking sucks; Jensen’s not even sure how he made it to the cheer squad and why would anyone take a look to his really bad dancing moves and still think ‘oh yeah, we definitely need to get some of that for the team.’Jared is honestly a disaster at this.And yet, Jensen has done pretty much nothing apart from staring at him most of the game as Jared dances terribly in a short skirt. Because even if Jared sucks, he’s also the most beautiful omega Jensen has ever seen.

The Jock and The Nerd by JuniperLemon  Unrelated Wincest High School AU. Sam and Dean go to the same school. Dean asks the school nerd, Sam, on a date. Little do they know that it'll lead to so much more. Is there more behind Sam than what meets the eye and how will John react to Dean's bisexuality?

Kiss Me by lotrspnfangirl  Worst case scenario: Jensen would be freaked out and spend the next three weeks until graduation, completely avoiding Jared and not speaking to him. And as much as that would hurt… It was only a dollar to get a kiss from Jensen at the kissing booth.

Little Pieces by compo67 Jensen the Bad Influence is better known as the town hellraiser. He stays out late, skips class, and takes bets on chess games after school. His partner in crime happens to be Jared, raised in a strict Catholic-Protestant household, and reigning chess champion. Together, they've skimmed five hundred dollars from their classmates with no end in sight.If they can survive high school, conquering the rest of the world must be a piece of cake.It just happens that the world has something else in store for them--something no one planned for in a million years.

Mr High School by  kinkylittlered This is for a bingo competition on livejournal. Each chapter has prompts. AU Sam is a popular boy in high school and Dean is an invisible boy who is coming to terms with his sexuality. Each chapter will have different warning, eventually leading to slash

Putting On A Show by BewareTheIdes15  Lightning fast Dean's grin slants into sly and Sam's stomach lurches hard enough that his lungs get jealous and jump in on the action. Without so much as a glance in Sam’s direction for approval, Dean lifts one shoulder and says, "I'll make out with Sam."

Say the Words by dollylux  A new boy rolls into town, and Jensen Notices. (And... his girlfriend notices him noticing.)

Touch and Go by versaillesatnight  Dean Winchester doesn’t date. He fucks around, sure, but the whole dating thing? He’s never seen the appeal. Enter Sam.

Verses Like Yours and Mine by rivers_bend Sam and Dean are regular brothers--no hunting, no demons--who fall in love anyway.

White Knight by echoes_of_another_life  Jensen is a senior and protects shy freshman Jared, who is being bullied.

Worth It by saltandbyrne Turns out the only thing more uncomfortable than sitting through class with a half-woody and a pair of panties wedged up your ass is doing it while your panties are soaking wet from your brother's mouth.(Sam is 14).

You Didn't Listen When You Went To School by Posse Magnet (rhink_is_my_kink)  The kids at school know the new Winchester brothers are different. Everything about them is strange. From the way Dean effortlessly completes any physical challenge that gym class can throw at him without even breaking a sweat. To the way Sam is the smartest kid in all his classes, even though he's a freshman, and all his classes are college-level and full of seniors. But the most peculiar thing about the Winchesters, the thing that everyone notices: the way they come tumbling out of empty classrooms, closets, bathroom stalls, untidy hair, messy clothes, cheeks flushed with a color that’s almost as intense as the color of their lips.

you're a real f*ing page-turner by  grace_fully Jared's days pretty much all run together, one big muddy mess of emotional turmoil and confusion and shitty friends and shittier classes. not to mention that his best friend is equal parts awesome and a complete jerk, his little sister is also kind of a jerk, and he thinks privately that someday his books are going to be the only thing to stand by him in the end. luckily, life has a way of turning things around on him.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell by sonofabiscuit77 While the Winchesters are living in a small-town trailer park, sixteen year old Sam accidentally spies on his brother with an older man. The discovery triggers feelings in Sam that lead him and Dean down a path which will change their lives forever.

[fakecrfan]

Do you think Basira and Daisy had a healthy relationship?

I am so glad you asked! I have had a lot of thoughts about their relationship, but had decided to shelve those thoughts because I was worried it would come off as me telling people to not ship Daisira, which is... not what I want to be doing. But you sent me an Ask and so I am compelled to answer!

My answer is: no. Their relationship is toxic in one of the most interesting ways I have seen portrayed in media.

This might be a bit confusing to hear, though. Normally when we call a relationship toxic, it means that one or both of the people involved are making each other feel bad. But Daisy and Basira seem to make each other feel... good. Basira is apparently Daisy’s last human attachment, and according to Elias in MAG 92, and “not being able to see Basira again” is one of Daisy’s biggest laments in the coffin. And on Basira’s end, Daisy seems to make Basira feel... secure. Supported.

From MAG 117:

BASIRA

But at least Daisy’s coming. I mean, I know she’s… difficult. Everything they say about her, it’s true, it’s fair. But, she’s solid. She’s a… a fixed point, and if she’s there, I know exactly where I stand, exactly what I’m doing, relative to her.

From MAG 178:

MARTIN

We’re here for you.

BASIRA

No. She was there for me.

So, “attachment to humanity” “support” and “security” are good things in a relationship, right? Their love for each other (whether you read it as completely platonic or not) seems genuine, and they put each other first. That should mean that their relationship is Good!

Wellllllll no. Sometimes, a relationship can feel good while also... trapping you in a harmful cycle, or stunting your growth as a person. Think: a friend who is charming and fun who you love to drink with--to the extent that, even when you’re trying to manage an alcohol addiction, you end up going into situations with them that trigger your urge to drink. Also think: a friend who keeps bringing you sugary food even after you’ve been diagnosed with serious diabetes with potential life-altering complications--because you like donuts, they used to make you so happy.

Daisy and Basira are that to each other. In particular--Basira’s attachment to Daisy draws Basira back into dangerous situations and, by extension, causes her fall deep into that “siege mentality” that shuts down Basira’s more thoughtful side. 

When Jon confronts Basira about Daisy’s crimes in MAG 178, this exchange occurs.

MARTIN

[Loudly] Enough. Enough! Someone has died! Show some respect. Or don’t you care?

BASIRA

[Incensed] Of course I fucking care!

…

[Quieter] That’s the problem.

MARTIN

I… I don’t understand.

BASIRA

I just… I don’t need him laying everything out for me like I’m some kind of idiot. I know, all right.

I don’t think Basira is making anything up here to make herself seem better. Basira already knew there was a problem with the police, before Jon confronted her. She already knew Daisy was corrupt to some extent, even if she had trouble facing it head on. And--she already cared.

That’s why she quit. She didn’t need a revelation from Jon or anyone else to open her eyes. She didn’t even need to see harm happen to an innocent bystander. Instead, she saw how the higher ups were covering up the killing of Maxwell Raynor, of all people--

BASIRA

They’ve given us a few days ‘compassionate leave’. I think they just want us out of the way while they figure out the official version of what happened.

--and she quit after that. 

So, here we already have someone who is coming into an understanding of the police as a flawed system without anyone needing to tell her. Here we have someone who is already extricating herself from that system, because she cares about her impact on other people. From this point, she could easily have gone her own way, taken time to reflect and never hurt anyone again.

So what brings her back into the whole mess in MAG 88?

BASIRA

I’m looking for Daisy.

MARTIN

Oh for – Okay, I don’t know where she is! I don’t know where anybody is! Why does everyone… okay, why does everyone think that I always know where everyone is, all the time?!

BASIRA

Alright, okay, alright, sorry. They just… well, they said at the station that this was the last place she checked in.

--Her relationship with Daisy, of course!

She wants to leave the supernatural and the police behind. She tells Jon the Institute is bad (MAG 73) but she walks back in because she’s worried about Daisy. And then she throws herself right back in the fray to stop Daisy from killing Jon. Shortly after that, Basira has to sign herself off as a hostage to Elias…

ELIAS

She’s quite the killer, your partner. All in the public good, of course. And she was correct, I spent some time acquiring that evidence. Or creating it. And while your superiors don’t much care about the killings, the fact there is proof… They’re not happy. And they want you brought in.

--because of Daisy’s murders, Daisy’s reckless actions giving Elias leverage. Basira throws herself in with Daisy, and it draws Basira right back into a world of violence and the paranormal that she was trying to quit. It motivates her to, once again, cover for Daisy’s errors and justify them. This takes away any chance Basira could have had to gain distance from the violence, reflect, and get some perspective. Instead, she’s thrown right back into the siege. 

Basira doesn’t even show any sign of frustration with Daisy at this. It’s not that Basira is 100% meek. We see her get frustrated with people later, express grievances, and hold people accountable later--but with Daisy she doesn’t do any of this. Instead, she immediately re-affirms that she’s on Daisy’s side.

BASIRA

Daisy, it’s… it’s okay. We’ll figure something out.

Of course, it’s not a one-way street, either. It’s not an uncomplicated “Basira good, Daisy toxic and bad” story. It’s a mutually reinforcing cycle where they are both complicit. We see that in season 4, when Daisy tries to stop feeding the hunt.

People like to rag on Basira for her actions in this season but... her actions are actually also more complicated than a simple story of “Basira sabotages Daisy’s progress.” Because Basira misses the more resolute Daisy, yes, and wishes she had a strong protector instead of another person to help... but even with that, she’s still willing to support Daisy’s progress away from the Hunt!

In MAG 133:

ARCHIVIST

You’re not happy she’s back.

BASIRA

I didn’t say that, John. I will never abandon Daisy, and… having her back is… (she sighs) But right now she’s dead weight, and I need to be able to travel light.

Basira wants someone powerful to protect her, is conflicted that she doesn’t have that but still will never abandon Daisy regardless. And, true to her word, she does support what Daisy is doing.

From MAG 140:

BASIRA

We’ve talked about it. If the Hunt takes her again, we don’t know if she’s coming back. And neither of us want that.

In MAG 146, she even praises Daisy’s path of resistance.

BASIRA

You didn’t know what you were doing.

[Daisy makes a pained sound, as if to contradict her, but stops.]

BASIRA

And since you did, you’ve spent every waking hour resisting.

So, Basira is--true to Elias’s word--being Daisy’s anchor to humanity. True to her own word, she’s having Daisy’s back, supporting her decision to quit the hunt even if it means Basira has less back up. So what changes?

MAG 155:

BASIRA

Because I’m not going to lose her.

ARCHIVIST

She goes hunting again, you might anyway.

BASIRA

And if she doesn’t, she might die.

Even at this point, Basira’s worst impulses are always about Daisy. Even when she undercuts Daisy’s progress, it’s about Daisy’s wellbeing. All she wants to do is make sure Daisy’s alive and okay, and to that end she will throw out all of her rationality and moral principles.

And then, when Daisy does finally give into the hunt, it’s for Basira.

It’s... funny to analyze and critique this behavior, because I have seen this sort of behavior in Jon/Martin fics treated as a sweet and romantic thing. You know, the “I want you to keep being a monster because I don’t want to lose you!” thing. And also the “prioritizing each other over everything else in the world” thing. Because the concept of unconditional support, of putting another person first above everything else in the world--it’s an alluring one.

But with Daisy and Basira, even though their relationship isn’t necessarily romantic, we see how harmful that mindset can be. How someone can care for you, prioritize you, make you feel like the whole world, and... the main effect of that is to stunt you, to give you so much comfort you never get out of a harmful cycle or change your behavior at all. How it can cause you to enable horrible things in the world, like police brutality. 

That is the story of Daisy and Basira’s relationship. It’s about the effects of this cycle on Basira--yes, Basira specifically and not Daisy, even though the cycle is mutually reinforcing and affects them both.

Basira appears in nearly twice as many episodes as Daisy. Because of this, Basira is the one we see discussing the relationship and what it means to her. Basira is the one we see grappling with the psychological fallout of their relationship. It’s more Basira’s story than Daisy’s--not because she’s the “victim” or that she was morally pure but because... Basira is the one who ultimately grows past this.

After episode after episode of “she needs me” and “I can’t leave her” and “I can’t let her die”--after Basira endangering herself and stunting her own growth by centering Daisy

DAISY

Partner… Come…

[MORE FOOTSTEPS]

BASIRA

Not now. Not after everything.

--Basira finally breaks free, and moves on.

[beanarie]

the eskel problem

as a show-only fan, i stayed out of the discourse regarding their portrayal of eskel. it was irritating that they'd throw away such a prominent character on what sounded like a snap decision, but i guess it wouldn't really fit with their gruffer, more prickly version of geralt to have his kind, awesome brother at his side for several episodes. i feel like they also swapped rando witcher john, who was originally intended to be the one "hiding the zombie bite", for eskel in an attempt to get more emotional oomph out of that plot from casual fans of the books and games. so, not great. not particularly original or creative. but... fine.

here's my issue. the showrunner said they made him ooc, i.e. not kind or awesome, on purpose because he was infected by the monster. at first i accepted that because, yeah, geralt definitely noticed he was acting weird. since consuming a lethal amount of fic, though, i can't help wondering why no one else noticed. leshen!eskel did some disturbingly out there things, including implying he would rape ciri if she were his responsibility and bringing a handful of sex workers to the keep to roofie them and have a dubcon party with his bros.

if eskel were ordinarily kind and awesome, these other dudes, who've known him most of his life, and have been trained to be hyper aware of changes in their environment, would be spending most of the episode going wtf. so, fail.

[jawritter]

Born Under The Wrong Sign

Part 1

Summary: Dean Winchester, hunter, killer of Gods, demons, and monster, was born as an Omega. It never felt right, and he wants a change of biology. After all, just cause it's what we're assigned, it shouldn't identify who we are...

Pairing: Omega!Dean Winchester x Alpha!Reader

Written For: @spnkinkbingo​

Square field: Omegaverse

Word Count: 1833

Beta’d By: @miss-nerd95​! Thanks again hun!

Dividers by: @firefly-graphics​

Rating: Explicit

Warning: Identity Crisis? ABO Dynamics, smut, unprotected smut, mention of past abusive parents. John’s A+ parenting,  knotting, dirty talk, language, talk of sex change and presentation changes. Some self hate. I think that’s about it.

A/N: This is the first fic I’ve ever written like this one, even for ABO, and even though I’m sure they’re out there I’ve never read one quite like it. So, that being said, I’m pretty nervous about throwing this one out there for you guys! So I really do hope you enjoy it! Feedback is golden! Please do not copy my work! This is part 1, part 2 will drop later this week!!

My Masterlist      My Patreon

Being a hunter was hard, regardless of anyone's presentation. 

Dean had it a bit harder than most. It was bad enough when your father was John fucking Winchester, but if you were also born with the rare presentation of Omega, and you were a male on top of that, well, life was definitely not going to be in your favour. 

Dean had been able to hide his presentation from his father for the most part. He had presented late. He was already 19, and only just an year ago had endured his first heat, which nearly scared him to death because he had thought he was a Beta up until that point. 

Suppressants thankfully helped in keeping his scent from his Alpha father and Sammy was usually at Bobby’s most of the time. It was a lot harder to hide things from his little brother because he was with him 90 percent of the time, and had a knack to call him out when Dean was hiding something. 

Why couldn’t he just be born a Beta? Hell, nothing was better than this, was it.  

Male Omegas were rare, very rare, and usually went unwanted and almost never found a mate. It was almost impossible to find an Alpha female, because they were almost as rare as an Omega male and Dean had never been with a man before. It scared the fuck out of him that one day he might have to do just that in order to survive a heat. Then throwing pups into the equation with the life he lived and a not so supportive father? Fuck… This was bad, and he had to hide it and fight his biology as long as possible. 

The night John found him in heat in a Denver motel room when he was only 22 years old was a night he tried to respress. John had been so...angry. Dean thought he was going to beat him to death; he was so angry. How could the son of John Winchester be a Beta after all? That was unacceptable. 

It took almost a year for his father to look him in the eye again, and he had to work extra hard to prove that he could still follow orders, and could still hunt. It took him even longer to prove that his Omega presentation didn’t make him weaker than the Alphas they hunted with as well, and that he could hold his own. 

Dean was larger than any male Omega they had ever seen, and that was a good thing.  It meant John could hide the fact that his son was an Omega from other hunters. He was also just as strong as any Alpha male, and could carry himself with the same dominating demeanor when he needed too. It was a prodigy of being a child of war really. Cause that’s what this was, wasn’t it? War? 

Years after John’s death, when Dean was around 35, he met you. 

At first, he thought you were another Omega because you were too small and petite for an Alpha. That was until he caught your scent anyway. It threw him into an immediate heat, and he knew you were his. You took a little convincing, but after a while you came around to claiming your Omega. It was the first real knot Dean had ever taken, you made sure to keep his claiming mark low, because an Omega male hunter around other hunters was probably the equivalent of a black spot on a pirate. They would surely stop respecting him, if not kill him. 

For years now, whenever Dean’s heat would come close, the two of you would go and hide away in one of Bobby’s old cabins so that you could take care of your Omega, and he’d be safe during his heat. 

Pups were not an option for a hunter, regardless of whether the Omega was male or female. It just wasn’t wise. Dean was absolutely not for having pups, being knotted was nothing more than a means to an end for him, and he worked extra hard to keep up with all birth control. You even made sure to take it yourself, because being a female Alpha, you still oddly ran the risk of pregnancy, even if it were rare and a lot harder than it was for Dean to get pregnant, with him wanting no slips whatsoever. It was just too dangerous. 

Normally you got through Dean’s heat without much trouble, in fact you enjoyed your time during them with him. It was the only time Dean would ever let his guard down and let you take care of him the way an Alpha should of their Omega. 

This time though, it was different. The fever was a lot higher than usual. Dean was a lot more needy, and this heat was long, longer than his average anyway, and even Dean was getting frustrated. 

As you lay on the bed next to him now, your knot still holding his body in place to your own, and your fingers brushing through his sweat dampened hair, you couldn’t help but notice how sad he looked. Honestly, it killed you. You wanted to make it better for him. 

You’d reverse the roles if you could. You really would. You wouldn’t mind being an Omega, because in truth you hated being a female Alpha. There was no respect there as an Alpha, and it was tiring. 

“You know, people are born the wrong genders. Males can sometimes identify as females and vice versa all the time. Do you think it’s possible to be born with the wrong presentation?” Dean asked, his voice low, as if he was ashamed of even thinking of the question. 

You knew how Dean felt about his presentation, but you never would have guessed he would  ask you that question, and for a moment it stumped you. Slowly, as to not hurt him, you withdrew his length from your body as your knot subsided, not bothering to get dressed because you knew he was going to need you again in less than an hour. 

“Dean, I don’t know,” you told him honestly. “I mean, there’s a lot more than hormones and physical attributes that make up your presentation. It’s not as simple as a few operations and some hormone replacement therapy to change your biology. It’s something that’s part of you on a molecular level. I mean, what people who go through those types of changes is anything but easy, and they are damn brave for doing them, but as far as a presentation? I don’t know babe. That seems almost impossible.”

A high pitched whine escaped from his lips before he nuzzled deeper into your hair, and you couldn’t tell if it was his heat making him uncomfortable again, or if he was just that disappointed. 

“If I ever found a way, would you still love me?” he asked, and you felt as if you had been kicked in the face. How could you not love him? He was a part of you. He was your everything, and if he found a way to change his presentation you wouldn’t love him any less if it made him happier. Hell, you’d love to change yours too! So how could he even ask you that question? What had you done wrong for him to think that?

“Dean,” you coo, coaxing him out of your neck where he was scenting you and forcing him to look at you. 

You could see the Omega beneath was already crawling it’s way back towards the surface, and his cock was already twitching against your thigh, so you rolled him over on his back and start licking and kissing your way down his body until you reach his throbbing length, taking him in your hands and pumping him slowly before giving the tip a few kitten licks; reveling in the groan that fell from his lips. 

“I’d love you no matter what presentation you would be. You know damn well I’d love to change mine if I could. How could I hate you. You’re mine. You were literally created for me, and whether I’m calling you Alpha, Omega or Beta makes no difference to me,” you tell him earnestly before taking his length as deep into your mouth as you could, sucking until he was clawing at the sheets beneigh thim. 

“Fuck Alpha! Please! I need your knot,” Dean whimpered as he keened and arched into your touch as you licked your way up his torso to his lips, giving him a taste of himself as you captured his lips in yours before you sunk down on his ready length; swallowing up his little moans as you did . 

“Gonna take good care of you Omega, and after this heat is over, we will see what we can do about that presentation problem. I promise.”

Dean's groans and grunts turned into a deep moan as you started to ride him earnestly, rising and falling on his cock at a faster pace with each passing minute. You ran your fingers over the pebbled skin of his chest as goose bumps arose with every wave of pleasure that racked through his body. God he was so beautiful, it was almost painful. 

“You like that, baby,” you purred, leaning down long enough to run your tongue over his claiming mark, making him keen and grip your lips bruisingly. “Like the thought of me spread out real pretty for you, begging for your knot.”

“Fuck Alpha,” Dean cried, shuddering underneath you as you slowled your hips to an agonlizingly slowly roll over his, teasing him, and dragging out his release before your knot could lock you together again. 

“Bet you do like that don’t you? Bet you would love to have fucking spread open on your knot, milking you and letting you fill me with your pups; calling me a good little Omega.”

Dean’s orgasm raced through his body as he cried out, his teeth sinking into your shoulder as your knot locked the two of you in place, and your own release made you breathless. 

You helped Dean ride out his high, and when he fully came down, he slid the two of you on your sides so that you could lay there comfortably until you were able to release him. 

“I love you Dean, I always will,” you promised him. “When this is over, I'll do everything in my power to fulfill my promise.”

Dean nuzzled into your hold, and you could feel his body instantly start to cool as his heat finally waned, allowing him to fall into an almost immediate sleep. 

People should be identified by their genders, they should have the right to say when something feels off or different. Why should Dean and yourself be subjected to a biology that you don’t belong to. 

There had to be a way, and you wouldn’t stop until you found it.

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